Waking, I notice

A space by my face,

I know today you’ll

Visit your friend

Who struggles to live,

Far, across cement, crowds,

Sweat and wires, you’ll

Tread to sit in a

Room of smoke and magnolia.

Watching, waiting.

We disagree on almost

All strategies.

Our minds stretch strong

Move in a million different ways.

What would I do if

Something happened to you?

In a blink, the train

To another station arrives.

I will get on a plane,

To see her.

I don’t want to see her.

Wax-like, cocooned in tubes.

But it’s not her

Who wants to see me,

The months keep them toiling,

People keeping her alive.

For the living,

I will murmur to the fading tiger.

For the living I will

Appear in the flesh,

Cook, sing and write.


Written some weeks ago when deciding to go on a long distance flight to see my grandma who is breathing, but in a very deep sleep. I couldn’t go earlier because of health reasons. Then I noticed a reluctance to go. I think it’s because something really melodramatic and tragic happened previously for us in August and so a) I wish people would stop dying in August and b) a desire to remain detached from the exhausting chaotic entanglement of severe emotional strain, practicalities and strategy.

Anyway, I did go and found space-holding good, talked to my grandma (hoping and imagining she can hear us) and also took a bunch of pics and films. It felt like she wanted me to go on a family trip / journey away from home..

About The Mollusc Dimension

"Like existence, art, expression and even the urge to explore are in a state of flux, revelation and memory. Each encounter through the doorway, into the state of creativity is a catalyst for action, emotional and spiritual as well as physical and intellectual. As Krishnamurti says, there is no state of happiness but the state of the creative moment." This is currently the "Writing Dept" (eg “just words” — well mainly!) for The Mollusc Dimension, AKA Angelus Squid Marr, an East-Asian, British, experimental, interdisciplinary artist working in music, image and sound. He has a particular interest in themes of identity, queerness, intersectional feminism, surrealism + education and using lo-fi/ everyday materials (words/experiences/equipment) in addition to technology.
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